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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29877903">Everybody Wants To Be A Cat</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sElkieNight60/pseuds/sElkieNight60'>sElkieNight60</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: Under the Red Hood (2010), DCU, DCU (Comics)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Bruce Bites Jason, Bruce Wayne gets turned into a Cat, Bruce Wayne is a Cat, But It's Like Mama Cat Vibes, Cat Bruce, Communication Is Surprisingly Effective When One Party Can't Talk, Crack Treated Seriously, Gen, Jason Todd Gets Kidnapped By His Own Father Who Happens To Be A Cat, Jason Todd Needs Hugs, Jason Todd gets hugs, Jason Todd-centric, No A/B/O Dynamics, No Romance, No Smut, Not Really That Either Though, Potentially Standing In The Same Room As Pack Dynamics, Se.N, The Hugs Come From A Giant Cat!Dad, Tim Drake is a Good Brother, Words Are Used</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 02:42:23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>6,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29877903</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sElkieNight60/pseuds/sElkieNight60</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>At no point in Jason Todd's night had he anticipated getting kidnapped by a giant cat who happened to also be his father.</p><p>In related news, he was never answering Nightwing's calls again.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jason Todd &amp; Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake &amp; Bruce Wayne, Tim Drake &amp; Jason Todd</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>465</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Everybody Wants To Be A Cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>How did this AU come about, you ask? The answer: I've already forgotten, but you better believe I had a bunch of enablers. Thanks to all my wonderful enablers. I love you all.</p><p>Have you ever wondered how much easier parental communication would be if one party was a human-sized cat? Well, wonder no more.</p><p>The wonderful Squinty, AKA, <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/ErzasCake/pseuds/Squintyfist">ErzasCake</a> provided <a href="https://media.discordapp.net/attachments/699861012366753843/818037583175090176/unknown.png">this amazing fandoodle!</a></p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>“We’ve got a situation, Hood.” Was the initial alarming message Nightwing barked down the line. There was something instinctual about the way his ears perked up, his body tensed and his breathing sped up. Nightwing’s voice always reminded him of whose little brother he was, despite his frequent and brutal attempts to maintain space between them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Batman’s compromised,” Dick continued, “and Robin’s unconscious. There was some sort of gas explosion, the two of them were casing a warehouse full of Siren Song. I don’t know what happened after that. We’ll have to wait for Damian to wake and tell us what happened.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason growled, the sound distorted through his helmet. It would have been satisfying any other time; right now, he just felt grim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...the brat okay?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He didn’t need to see Nightwing to know he was smiling, but where Jason expected some sort of, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘aw you do care,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>there was none. The situation was serious enough to warrant caution then.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine,” Nightwing said quietly. “Knocked around a bit. A couple bite marks—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bite marks?!” Jason interrupted.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick sighed and licked his lips. “Looks like B got a couple in on his neck.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Christ,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he exclaimed. “I always knew there was something fucking weird about B, I didn’t know drugging him made him a </span>
  <em>
    <span>biter.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a degree of defensiveness in Dick’s tone when he answered. “It’s not his fault. And he’s never… </span>
  <em>
    <span>bitten </span>
  </em>
  <span>anyone before. I think it’s this drug. We’re not sure what it does, we need to get our hands on a sample.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason ached for a cigarette. His plans of a quiet patrol going down the drain.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he said with a small huff. “And that’s what you want me to do? Get you this sample?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Nightwing came back almost sheepish. “Uh. Actually, no. I sent Red Robin and Spoiler to the warehouse.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason groaned down the line, his task easily deduced. “You want me to bring Batman in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...yeah.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I always regret answering your calls.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick sounded like he was grinning again. Jason hated how easy it was to picture it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Love you too, Jay.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“No names over the line.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What, being legally dead isn’t enough for you? You sound like B.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I do </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>sound like B!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Uh-huh. Go get ‘em tiger.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The line went dead. Jason allowed himself a full minute to swear expletives at his phone. Nightwing </span>
  <em>
    <span>owed </span>
  </em>
  <span>him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason took off into the city.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Here Batty-Batty-Bat,” he called down every alleyway, scouring Crime Alley before being forced to admit it wasn’t particularly likely he would find Bruce anywhere near here and turning his attention to the city center.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was a couple hours in before he felt that tell-tale prickle on the back of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Gotcha,” he whispered to himself, grin turning into glee upon spotting a solid but moving shadow in his peripheral.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason went for a knee-cap. He was getting pretty good about not missing such a small target these days too, but Batman wasn’t any criminal or rogue. He was highly trained and clad in thick body armor. The bullet didn’t even graze.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The growl that left his mouth was feral.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason scoffed. “Come on now, B, I didn’t even hit you. No need for that kind of reaction.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man stalked forward. Jason fired shot after shot. Nothing landed. Despite his size, Bruce was quick.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit,” Jason cursed as Batman got closer, panic rising into his throat. “Stay away from me!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Words had no effect. Not that he’d particularly expected them to. And suddenly Bruce was practically on top of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>One gun was brusquely knocked from his hand. It flew into the alley wall and went spinning along the cobblestone. Jason dove after it, only to have an arm snake around his midriff and catch him halfway through the motion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Teeth went for his neck and bit down </span>
  <em>
    <span>hard.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason screamed in agony.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>What the fuck was Bruce doing?</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>He squirmed in the older man’s hold, desperate to break free, but it was like trying to wiggle out of an iron vice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Please, no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>B, what—” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he pleaded, confused and scared as Bruce removed his teeth from Jason’s neck. He could feel the wet blood sliding down beneath his kevlar. It would soon be sticky and uncomfortable.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce did nothing except growl again, louder this time, but just as wild and feral as before. And with Jason securely his arms, Bruce launched them into the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They propelled up and Jason went from struggling to break free, to gripping Bruce’s arm for dear life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>If Batman dropped him, he'd be nothing but a bug on a windshield.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They grappled through the city. Jason had no idea where they were going. He didn’t know how Bruce could even grapple one handed while carrying Jason’s bulk too. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They landed by a dumpster two blocks from W.E.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dumpster proved to be nothing but a farce when Bruce slid open a keypad on the side, keying in a passcode Jason didn’t see. The dumpster slid aside to reveal a small flight of stairs descending into the ground.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason resumed his struggles with renewed vigor. Oh fuck no he was not going down there with Bruce. He wouldn’t even go down into a creepy passage with Bruce if the man was in his right mind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, he was given no choice.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The dumpster slid back over the top and blotted out the little moonlight as they went down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>To Jason, it felt like they walked for miles. The same, war-time looking tunnel went on and on for ages, fluorescent lights flickering along the passage.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When Jason squirmed a little too much for Bruce’s liking, the man bit him again, right over the same mark from before. Fresh blood bloomed and Jason screamed once again, the sound louder in such a confined space.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A rumbling noise escaped Bruce’s chest as Jason sobbed dryly. The bite, unsurprisingly, hurt </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>than the first time.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The passage eventually opened up into a series of rooms. Each room had a key code.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason knew there was no way he’d be able to memorize them all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They went through an area with a kitchen, passing a room that could have once been a garage, until they reached what looked like a bedroom, sans bed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a safe-house, Jason realised. An old one. A </span>
  <em>
    <span>really </span>
  </em>
  <span>old one. He wondered if even Dick knew about it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In place of a bed in the bedroom, there appeared to be millions upon millions of blankets, towels and rags. Jason couldn’t comprehend where Bruce had got them all from, but they all appeared clean and smelled of Alfred’s preferred laundry soap.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce dropped him in the middle of the nest of blankets and disappeared back to the kitchen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason brought a palm up to his neck and hissed loudly when it stung. It was slick with blood when he pulled it away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce didn’t take long to return, a medkit in hand, cape and cowl gone to be replaced by a loose shirt and track-pants.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason watched him carefully as he pulled out the antiseptic and a cloth. Fortunately, Bruce didn’t do anything other than clean his wound.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He hissed again as the disinfectant touched the two bite marks. A sympathetic rumble made its way out of Bruce’s chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well why’d you bite me in the first place, dumbass,” Jason mumbled under his breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce did not reply.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once the wound was clean, but suspiciously not bandaged, the older man returned the medkit from where it had come and then settled in beside Jason in the nest of blankets.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason was unprepared for the hands that reached toward his helmet and he snarled, loudly as Bruce went for the latch. An unfortunate amount of people knew how to remove it without setting off the bomb inside these days. A new design might be in short order.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In response to the snarl, ripped from between his teeth, Bruce rumbled out a feral sound of his own. Something menacing and with the distinct hint of a threat behind it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There’d be no fighting Bruce if he really wanted the helmet off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason reluctantly acquiesced and went for the latch, popping the helmet off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He looked strangely satisfied.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A noise almost akin to a </span>
  <em>
    <span>purr </span>
  </em>
  <span>rolled its way out of his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mask was next. Bruce made a point of reaching for it and when Jason insisted he could do it himself, he was ignored. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt odd to have his whole face exposed to Bruce like this. They hadn’t met outside of uniform in a long time. After all. Jason wasn’t Dick. He didn’t go out for coffee with Bruce on a bi-monthly basis just to catch up. Jason was the black sheep. The extent their relationship went was the occasional head nod in passing on patrol.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason didn’t like it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He shuffled as far away from Bruce as he was able. He didn’t get very far. Bruce just followed. Like a mother hen coraling her chick back. Jason was pulled back to the center of blankets and towels.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s gotten into you, old man?” he asked, shaking his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce didn’t say anything. Not that Jason expected him to. A contented little huff ruffled the top of his head as Bruce pulled him closer. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason could have sworn he said, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘sleep,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>but from the angle Bruce had tugged him too, tucked up against his side, he couldn’t make out his mouth.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>He woke up to a nose in his hair and a contented rumbling purr vibrating throughout him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B?” he mumbled sleepily.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The purring increased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Next to Jason there was a very distinct third lump in the strange nest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Morning sleepyhead.” Tim grinned at him. The shit-eating effect was somewhat lost no thanks to the two black eyes he was sporting.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“When did you get here?” he asked. “And what happened to you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim’s face soured. “What do you think happened to me?” He gestured toward Bruce and for the first time since waking, Jason took in the sight of his adopted father.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The man had grown fur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was fur on his face and on his arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Actually. Upon further inspection. His father had turned into a giant housecat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Huh,” said Jason, “he didn’t look like that yesterday.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim peeled away from Jason’s side and stretched languidly. “What, like Selina’s wet dream?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason hummed. “Just a little ironic, isn’t it.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim snorted. “Hm,” he replied. “He knocked me out and when I came to, found myself here next to you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason thought he really must have been out of it if Bruce had left and come back without waking him even a little.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce purred back in response. Then licked the side of Jason’s head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason jerked away immediately. “What the </span>
  <em>
    <span>fuck, </span>
  </em>
  <span>Bruce?!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim snickered. “What did you expect?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, I don’t know Timbers, but I didn’t think he’d </span>
  <em>
    <span>lick </span>
  </em>
  <span>me, that’s fucking disgusting.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim laughed. There really was something wrong with this kid and apparently only Jason wasn’t blind to it. “Didn’t the bite give it away?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim gestured to his own bite mark, in a similar place to Jason’s, but on the opposite side of his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What is up with that anyway—the hell’s he biting us for?” Jason asked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim sighed. “This is going to sound stupid, but I think he’s </span>
  <em>
    <span>claiming </span>
  </em>
  <span>us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In return, Jason snorted. “Timbo, that doesn’t sound any stupider than, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘my dad got turned into a giant cat.’”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim froze. Then, “you called him </span>
  <em>
    <span>dad.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason wiggled out of Bruce’s grip, much to the other man’s—cat’s?—displeasure.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t think too hard about it, Replacement,” he returned, stepping over Tim’s legs and pushing the younger into Bruce’s arms. “Your turn to get groomed.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Two furry arms latched around Tim’s midsection before he could break free and the younger vigilante grumbled something about plotting and death up until the point two arms were crushing him to a broad chest.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tail smacked Jason in the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“How long do you think until Dick reaches us?” Tim asked, sounding just a tad more nervous now he was alarmingly close to the proximity of a giant cat tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Kid,” Jason replied, “I’m not even sure he knows where we are. Plus he’s got Damian to worry about.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat ears on top of Bruce’s head were a new addition too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What I want to know is,”—Jason rolled onto his side and smirked—“how in the hell did Bruce manage to find </span>
  <em>
    <span>you? </span>
  </em>
  <span>I thought you were with Spoiler?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim shifted uncomfortably. Bruce made an annoyed noise that sounded like a genuine meow and pulled the younger back under one arm, which seemed to be rapidly transforming into a paw with claws and all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“We got separated,” Tim said. Not the whole truth, but Jason wasn’t about to pry. “She managed to get away, but…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“...but Bruce got to you instead, huh.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim shifted again, ears red. Bruce squinted at him. The giant cat looked ready to pin him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The non-answer was answer enough.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You think he understands us?” He asked, eyeing the nose sniffing Tim’s hair, warily. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim shrugged, awkward, given his position. “I don’t know. Maybe?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Jason tried, “Bruce. If you’re in there, blink twice.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat looked at him at the mention of his name, but almost immediately turned his affections back to Tim, without so much as a wink.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Well, that settles that I suppose,” Jason sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim huffed along with him, looking a little resigned.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why me though,” Jason began anew, changing tac and wondering his thoughts out loud. “I understand why he’d come after you, you’re his kid, after all, but me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim pulled a face. The giant cat looked up. Bruce was watching Jason silently; he didn’t like how perceptive the gaze was. There was still too much Bruce in his face to leave Jason feeling completely comfortable. Even if he’d shown no sign of understanding before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re his kid too,” Tim replied quietly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason scoffed. “I’m no more than a rogue to him. Our relationship is… complicated.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” said the other boy, annoyingly matter-of-fact. “But you’re still his kid. Rogue or anti-hero or vigilante or whatever else you’re labelling yourself as these days. You’re still </span>
  <em>
    <span>Bruce’s </span>
  </em>
  <span>kid. You’re still Jason Peter Todd-Wayne.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He loves you. Can’t change what the heart feels. And despite how infrequently he seems to use it, Bruce does have one of those.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The room lapsed into silence, with the exception of the quiet, rumbling, purr vibrating through the air.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m more surprised Bruce came after me, to be perfectly honest,” Tim admitted softly, a moment later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>This time it was Jason’s turn to screw up his face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re part of the family, dumbass, of course he’s going to come after you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim shook his head. “In name only,” he supplied. “I’m. I’m not really his </span>
  <em>
    <span>kid. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Not like Dick and you and Cass and Damian.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason rolled his eyes. “You’ve got </span>
  <em>
    <span>Wayne </span>
  </em>
  <span>tacked onto the end of your name, yes? Then you’re his kid. End of story.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim shook his head for a second time, squeezing his eyes closed. “No,” he said. “You. You don’t get it. The Wayne name attached to mine? That doesn’t mean anything. Bruce adopted me out of convenience, nothing more. It wasn’t out of love, not like the rest of you. The situation was different for me and Batman needed a Robin and I knew, even after my father died, that Bruce wasn’t looking for another kid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>I know you call me ‘replacement,’ but I was never that. I just. I saw how rough and brutal he had become. And someone had to step in. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>I wasn’t a ‘replacement,” he finished quietly. “Just a stand-in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Something constricted tightly inside Jason’s chest. It coiled, then released. Damn the kid for making Jason remember how terribly he’d treated him in the beginning.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“If that’s the case,” he muttered. “Then why did Bruce drag you here, like me?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With eyes still closed, Tim dropped his voice to a whisper. “I don’t know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason cocked an eyebrow. “Well I do,” he said firmly. “And I’m telling you now, even if you’re blind to it, Bruce loves you like a son because you </span>
  <em>
    <span>are.”</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim opened his eyes and if Jason wasn’t mistaken, he looked a little wet around the edges. Tim didn’t look like he entirely believed Jason, but he muttered a thick </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘thanks, Jay,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>nonetheless, and scrubbed at the corners of his eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In true raised-by-Batman style, they looked away from one another and stuffed down all remaining emotions on the subject. Now wasn’t the time to get soppy.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So,” Jason said after a few minutes of awkward, lapsed silence. “Any ideas how we’re going to get out of here? I’d rather not spend my days being licked by a giant cat, you know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim chuckled. “Yeah,” he agreed. “Hopefully by now, Dick and the others are synthesizing an antidote, but I suppose that’s not going to help if they can’t find us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B doesn’t seem fond of us wandering off on our own ,” Jason supplied, earning himself a stare from the cat that seemed entirely Bruce, through and through, even if he didn’t understand a word with the possible exception of his name. “One of us is going to have to distract him.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I vote you,” Tim offered up immediately.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason’s expression fell flat. “Excuse you, you’re the one currently being cuddled by a giant cat, Baby Bird, I don’t see why it can’t be you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>“Because,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tim insisted. “We’re going to have to wait for him to fall asleep before one of us sneaks out of this room to look for another way out. And you’re stronger than me, so you’ve got a higher chance of keeping him here than I do if he wakes up.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason’s heart skipped a nervous beat. “That’s your plan?” he exclaimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You got a better one?” Tim shot back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason was forced to admit that, no, he didn’t.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With no small amount of grumbling, the two of them exchanged places again, Tim slipping out of Bruce’s grip and Jason sliding in. The cat emitted a satisfied purr. Jason received a lick upside the back of his neck and most certainly did </span>
  <em>
    <span>not </span>
  </em>
  <span>squeal at the cold tongue, no matter what Tim claimed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Disgusting,” he said. A cold cat nose pressed at the base of his skull. A shudder ran down the length of his spine.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By the time Bruce was dozing off, Jason was pretty close to sleep too. With nothing else to do, it was easy to drift and catch up on a few lost hours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim tucked a rag beneath Jason’s arm. “With any luck,” he whispered, “this’ll buy you a second if Bruce wakes up and notices something amiss.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, the younger vigilante was gone. Slipping out of the strange cat-nest silently.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason settled down and tried to even out his breathing; tried not to give away how tense he was. It was more difficult than anticipated with a human-sized cat breathing down his neck.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Slowly, but surely, the rhythmic purring began to lull him back to sleep, and just as he was about to slip into a doze, a familiar black tuft of hair appeared around the corner of the room.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Psst,” Tim hissed from the doorway, waking him immediately. “Jason.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He blinked and looked over.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I might have found a way out!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce let out a particularly loud huff. Air ghosted over his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As quickly and quietly as he was able to manage, Jason slipped out from under the giant paw—something which was becoming more </span>
  <em>
    <span>claw-like </span>
  </em>
  <span>by the hour—and hurried over to Tim.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Around Tim’s waist was a recovered belt, clearly taken from the pile of stripped gear on the kitchen table. Jason mourned the sight of his guns as they passed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim led them to a locked door. It wasn’t the same one Jason had entered through.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What’s the passcode?” he asked, Tim inspecting it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The younger boy shrugged. “I don’t know,” he answered unhelpfully, eliciting a frustrated huff from Jason. “I don’t </span>
  <em>
    <span>know,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he repeated with a sigh, “but it’s old. Not something that should take very long to bypass.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason wanted to stomp back to the table to collect his things, but instead he simply turned and kept watch while Tim pried off the security casing and began working on getting them both out of there. Jason had to hand it to him, the kid was good at it. Would have made a good Oracle, probably.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five, ten, fifteen minutes passed before the kid let out, “Eureka!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The system went down, the door clicked open, and—alarms blared.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Shit, shit, shit,” Jason swore. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>A shadow appeared at the edge of the doorway to the safe-house bedroom. It spied them immediately and </span>
  <em>
    <span>lunged.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Go!” Jason screamed, pushing Tim out the door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was no way both of them were making it out of here.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason slammed the metal door closed, cutting them off from Tim, just as a cat landed on top of him with an enormous yowl.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He was pinned to the ground with one paw as Bruce scratched at the door of the safe-house with the other, clearly unable to remember how to get out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason had cost him a kitten.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat rounded on him next. With the door closed, the alarms stopped. The lights went back up instead of flashing red. Bruce looked angry.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason was very swiftly reminded how many pounds of hissing furious cat was sitting on top of him right now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce, please, c’mon,” he pleaded. Bruce did not seem to hear him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Large teeth went for his shirt and suddenly, Jason was sure this was it. He was about to die. Eaten by an enormous cat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That, strangely, did not happen.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce simply dragged him along the floor, all the way back to the nest where he swiftly deposited Jason and then promptly sat on top of him, effectively pinning him down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t very long before he was being groomed by a giant tongue slicking back his hair, washing his face. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Disgusting, </span>
  </em>
  <span>thought Jason for a second time, internally begging for Bruce to stop, but unable to shift to bulk above him. Bruce either did not notice or did not care about his discomfort. The tongue scratched like sandpaper and it</span>
  <em>
    <span> hurt.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Please hurry, Tim, </span>
  </em>
  <span>he prayed. The giant, purring cat above him caught him by the shell of his ear with a rough tongue, drawing out a yelp from Jason.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was going to be one, very long night.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jason woke in the morning to a tail </span>
  <em>
    <span>wapping </span>
  </em>
  <span>him in the face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He grunted. Bruce’s narrowed eyes slid over to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Good morning to you too,” he croaked.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce smacked him in the face with his tail once again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>During the night, Bruce had rolled off him and was presently curled around his side. One hefty paw still lingering across his torso, though Jason could move it if he tried.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wiggled out from underneath, earning himself what was undoubtedly a growl. Funnily enough, it almost sounded human.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I gotta eat, Bruce,” he huffed, standing. “And so do you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat did not like this very much. It seized Jason by his shirt and pulled him back down again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B!” he exclaimed, cross. “Come on. I’m hungry and I know you have to be too. I’m not going very far, just to the kitchen, goddamn!”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>With intelligence that seemed </span>
  <em>
    <span>just </span>
  </em>
  <span>beyond what a regular cat was capable of, Bruce released him and allowed Jason to stand once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason eyed him, suspicious, but in the end let it go. If Bruce knew what he was saying, he would have made it clear by now.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason padded softly out into the kitchen, followed by the giant housecat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Since it was one of Bruce’s safe-houses, it was well stocked, thankfully. The pantry was full of long-life and canned goods—including several tins of sardines, which he emptied into a bowl for Bruce.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat made a happy meowing noise as he licked his bowl clean.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason heated up a bowl of soup in the microwave and then tucked into that, unashamedly relieved to be within arms length of his guns again, though he didn’t bother strapping them to his person.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After eating, Jason washed his and Bruce’s bowls and then headed for the bathroom, both to relieve himself and to shower.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The yowling and scratching at the door started before he was even able to get hot water flowing.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Damn it, B,” he yelled over the horrible scratching noises. “Would you quit it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat did not.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason lathered and washed as quickly as possible, not really bothering to dry his hair before wrenching the door open. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Several hundred pounds of cat tackled him, then practically dragged him back to the bedroom to be attacked by gross, sandpaper tongue.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why had he bothered showering, again?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“God-damn, B,” he mumbled, watching cat ears twitch restlessly and an anxious tail whack at the towels and quilts around them. “You don’t give hugs even on good days, yet you’re quite happy to groom me.”</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span><br/>
</span>
  <span>The cat purred. Jason interpreted the sound as a contented, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘hrm.’</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Seriously, what’s up with that?” he asked rhetorically. “You’ve been more affectionate as a cat for forty-eight hours than as a human for forty-eight years.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce’s tail slithered around his leg. The tongue licked a stripe through his hair.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason sighed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You won’t remember any of this,” he said. “I’m sure of it. That’s probably a good thing. Less embarrassing for us all. But. Sometimes I wish you’d let us know what goes through that head of yours.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tim’s not convinced you want him. The other bat brat’s probably have their own host of issues stemming from your inability to communicate, and I’m... not convinced you really want me around, even if what Timbo says is true.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The giant house-cat purred and settled a cold nose against his cheek.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Jason huffed. “I know. I… I guess I love you too, old man. I just wish you’d say it once in a while.”</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Jason’s plans to catch up on lost sleep until Tim returned were going great until the alarms went off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It woke him with a start.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce was awake, on his feet and hissing before Jason even managed to wipe away the drool dripping from the edge of his mouth.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whoever broke in was being quiet. Jason didn’t hear a thing until a shadow appeared around the doorway.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The cat beside him lunged.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Bruce!” a familiar voice yelped, which was followed by a loud yowl and a grunt.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The lights came back up in short order. Bruce staggered left, then collapsed with a pained mewling noise.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick was sprawled on the floor in front of him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jason!” he exclaimed, relieved. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick hopped to his feet lightly for having just been tackled by 200 pounds of cat, then, after righting himself, walked over to yank Jason into a fleeting hug. “You’re alright. Good. I’m going to need your help getting Bruce back to the batmobile.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason stood, transfixed at the sight of his older brother, slightly numb and definitely not awake.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“What…” he began, taking in the sight of the giant cat, blinking rapidly, but assuredly drugged. With Dick there, Bruce seemed to be wearing an easy grin and didn’t appear to be fighting the drug at all.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once again Jason was reminded of the too-human intelligence behind those aperture eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Languidly, the drug cat rolled over onto his back, possibly wanting pats of some kind, then promptly fell asleep.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick looked over. “Tranq,” he explained. “Tim came up with the formula. It won’t have any lasting effects.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A tense knot in Jason’s chest that he hadn’t known had been there at all uncoiled at the mention of Tim. It was good to hear the kid had gotten home safely.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry to put an end to your quality time,” Dick continued, clapping him on the shoulder with a smirk.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason’s face fell flat. “Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Dickface,” he deadpanned, following behind his older brother.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick took Bruce’s front paws and Jason took the back.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’d never figure he was heavier than Croc just by looking at him,” Dick grunted with effort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason didn’t bother replying.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Together they hauled him into the kitchen, where Jason made a brief stop to retrieve his gear, and then down the long passageway which Tim had escaped down.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was dark outside when they breached the surface, Jason didn’t know why he was surprised. Time had simply lost all meaning in the safe-house with no windows.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason also didn’t know why he was surprised to reach the surface through a manhole right outside W.E.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Unbelievable,” he huffed, lugging the giant cat onto the concrete while Dick crawled out of the hole behind him. “I should have guessed this stupid safe-house would be under W.E.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think it was the first he made,” Dick huffed, taking up Bruce’s front end again. “A few years before he took me in.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>That checked, thought Jason, readjusting his grip on the cat’s hindquarters.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick directed them to the car and helped Jason drag Bruce over and onto his lap in the back-seat before stepping around to the driver side door.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“From what I heard from Tim,” Dick began anew, climbing in and starting the engine. “You had quite a time down there. I’m sure Selina will be sorry she missed it."</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason rolled his eyes. “The crazy cat lady </span>
  <em>
    <span>would,” </span>
  </em>
  <span>he quipped, not without an edge.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick met his eyes in the rearview mirror.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry it took us so long, Little Wing,” he apologized, watching Jason’s reaction too close for comfort.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It wasn’t bad,” he answered honestly. “Weird. Definitely weird, but not. Not bad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick’s eyes dropped back to the road.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason remained stubbornly silent for the rest of the journey.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It would be just like Dick to develop a sudden case of Feelings and Jason didn’t want to break out in hives.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Being back in the batcave was weird once they pulled in.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>By now, Bruce was beginning to stir.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was a team effort to get the giant cat into the holding cell. One which Jason was really glad to see Tim, Stephanie and Damian show up for.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“He’s fine,” Jason reassured Damian, who was carrying Bruce’s tail. “Just asleep.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know,” snapped Damian with a sniff, though it didn’t stop the sparkle of worry in his eye.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He couldn’t fault the kid for missing his dad. He ruffled the kid’s hair once Bruce had been deposited on the temporary cot. Damian didn’t bat him away.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason turned his attention back to Tim then, when the boy started speaking.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It shouldn’t take too long to reverse engineer the formula now that we can grab a blood sample.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Dick was the last to exit the cell, said blood sample extracted and in hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You should head up, Little Wing,” he said, passing said sample to Tim, who disappeared further into the cave with it. “Take a shower, get some rest.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And Jason didn’t want another shower or </span>
  <em>
    <span>need </span>
  </em>
  <span>more rest, but he took the offer anyway and fled like the coward he was because </span>
  <em>
    <span>he really didn’t want to be down here when human Bruce woke up.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Intercepted in the hall, Alfred chastised him with a, </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘no downstairs business upstairs,’ </span>
  </em>
  <span>and a pointed look at the holsters and guns strapped to his thighs. To which Jason reluctantly abandoned his gear for a second time before Alfred steered him into the kitchen and pushed him into a barstool at the breakfast counter.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Between one tired blink and the next, there was nothing, then there was grilled cheese. Alfred expressed his sympathies in the form of his patented expression of pensive judgment.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You need to take better care of yourself, Master Jason,” he sniffed, then departed from the kitchen before Jason could come up with a litany of excuses for himself.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sure, maybe he’d been under the thumb—toe?—of a human-sized cat for two to three days—was it even that long?—but prior to that his habits hadn’t exactly been healthy either.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>More exhausted than he had any right to be, Jason washed, rinsed and dried his plate before putting it away, then padded down the hall and up the stairs.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It wasn’t the first time he’d been in the manor since his resurrection from the dead. It wasn’t even the same time he’d stood at the threshold to his childhood bedroom and marveled at the life he could have continued, the life he </span>
  <em>
    <span>could </span>
  </em>
  <span>have </span>
  <em>
    <span>had.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>It was, however, the first time he stepped inside and closed the door behind him. He was too tired to decipher what it meant.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The bedroom was surprisingly clean and orderly. The bed covers smelled fresh, like Alfred had just recently washed them. They held no trace of his own scent, which made it easy to collapse on the bed, let his eyes close, and drift.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was almost laughable how much a giant cat version of Bruce had reminded him of the Bruce of his childhood. The father who showed affection and who </span>
  <em>
    <span>cared, </span>
  </em>
  <span>who didn’t wall his emotions up or defend his defensiveness. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was stupid.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason was going to miss that cat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He sniffed and rubbed at the wetness in the corners of his eyes before his already strung out emotions could take no more. Jason dropped off into sleep like stepping off a cliff, plunging down into the icy waters below where everything was calm and still.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>He woke to a shadow in the corner of his room and momentarily forgot where he was.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“B’rce?” he tried, wondering why the cat was so far off, only to have a human step into his field of vision.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Afternoon sunlight faintly filtered in through the small gaps in his blinds, illuminating the softness around Bruce’s features, but also the exhaustion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jay,” he whispered, with more fondness than he had any right to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason bolted upright.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The last few hours flooded back to him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Human Bruce. His room. Right.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Suddenly, he was all too aware of exactly where he’d fallen asleep. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>With face aflame and ears beginning to heat up, he fidgeted uncomfortably under the too perceptive gaze of a Bruce bereft of fur.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce rubbed the back of his neck with a palm.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>They avoided each other’s eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, Bruce spoke.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” he all but whispered, gesturing toward his own neck. “About the… bite.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason clapped a hand over the two wounds on his neck, strangely self-conscious.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You remember?” he shot back, heart in his throat.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce reluctantly nodded his head. “Uh, some,” he answered. “More… feelings than actual memories.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He swallowed, hard. “What… what do you remember?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“That, for one,” Bruce answered, gesturing at the bite marks. “I’m sorry, by the way. I’m sorry I… I hurt you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason said nothing. It certainly wasn’t the worst thing Bruce had done.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s fine,” he offered eventually.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce looked around the room like he thought it might provide the answers he was looking for, or at the very least, conversational topics that weren’t potential landmines. Based on his silence, Jason didn’t think he found any.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Finally growing tired of the uncomfortable air sitting thickly between them, Jason offered him a bone.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why that safe-house?” he asked, the eyes roaming his childhood bookshelf shooting over to him immediately. “I mean, why not the cave or the manor or some place else?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce shrugged unhelpfully.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know,” he supplied. “I had a vague feeling… I just remember needing to go someplace safe and… the manor wasn’t it. Too much… too many memories here, not all good.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason looked around his childhood room. That was something they could agree on.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you… remember anything else?” he ventured. </span>
  <em>
    <span>God he hoped Bruce didn’t remember… well, any of it really. </span>
  </em>
  <span>It appeared Jason was out of luck, however.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce thought, a pensive expression upon his face. “I remember… I remember holding Tim in my arms,” he began with a soft smile. “I… remember you, asleep, curling into my chest, just like you used to do when you were a kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason swallowed hard. His fingers were trembling. Why was he so nervous? He dropped his head, very suddenly intent on studying his cuticles.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce looked lost in his thoughts when Jason looked up again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You fed me sardines,” he said, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. Jason just nodded stiffly, confirmation. “And you… you got Tim out.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He froze, feeling suddenly like an insect under a microscope. Bruce didn’t seem to notice past a, “thank you, by the way. If you hadn’t helped Tim escape, I fear I may have stayed a cat for a lot longer.” It was enough to relax him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce inched forward, then. With telegraphed movements, he gently lowered himself down beside Jason onto his bed. The man was too close. He radiated body heat. Something pricked at the base of his skull.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jay,” Bruce said in that too-fond, too-soft voice. A hand came up to gently rest atop his shoulder. “I. You called me ‘dad,’ you—”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason cut him off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Forget it,” he snapped, intentionally harsh. It meant nothing, it—it had been an accident. “What happened in the safe-house, it changes nothing between us.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know,” said Bruce, nodding.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Your emotional capacity as a cat was much better.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re a shitty dad.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I know.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Jason fell quiet.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I didn’t mean that,” he said a moment later. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“It’s okay if you did,” Bruce returned, squeezing his shoulder lightly in return. His voice was soft and gentle. “I know I’ve not been the father you deserve.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Once more, they lapsed into an uneasy silence.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You’re not good at this,” Jason snorted later.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Bruce agreed quietly. “I’m aware.” Then, “strangely, I think you understood me better as a cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Strangely,” he replied, “I think I </span>
  <em>
    <span>liked </span>
  </em>
  <span>you better as a cat.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A quiet chuckle left Bruce’s lips, the noise a soft rumble. If Jason closed his eyes, he could almost imagine a several hundred pound cat looming over him with soft fur and kind eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The two of them fell quiet again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Jay?” He said.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hm?” Jason answered.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Bruce’s hand tightened on his shoulder. “I love you.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah,” he replied. “I guess I love you too, old man.”</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Please leave a comment or kudos if you liked this work. Thank you for reading! Find me on <a href="https://selkienight60.tumblr.com/">Tumblr!</a></p><p>Marzue and I are trying to make cat!Bruce a thing, so if you write a story featuring Bruce as a cat, let me know!</p></blockquote><div class="children module" id="children">
  <b class="heading">Works inspired by this one:</b>
  <ul>
    <li>
        <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30105921">The Big Floof</a> by <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/XPsypher/pseuds/XPsypher">XPsypher</a>
    </li>
  </ul>
</div></div></div>
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